Attention to
The Minister of Education, Malaysia
Dear Sir,
I recently joined the local Malaysian blogosphere at the persuasion of my closest friends after reading some of my notes. I call it Thursday Love. Yes, I am a blogger. Don’t worry. I do not observe and write about politics nor do I have the desire to.
I am a blogger of a different kind. I write about sex. Yes. Sex. You are a married man, with children. I am pretty sure you are familiar with this concept.
Even though my blog is new, less than a month old, it is growing to be quite popular. It has become so well liked that I’ve set up its own private email for admin and Adonis-tic purposes. Every week I get two or three feedbacks from readers about the style of my blog and its content. Most of the time my mails make me happy, once in a while I get one that calls me a cheap, no-shame whore, it is fine, even Oprah has haters.
But last Sunday I received a particular email I found so disturbing that I felt the compelling need to write to you.
It is from Linda*. She tells me that she is in a relationship with someone who is a sweet darling but is a complete bore at bed, and so she continues sleeping with her ex-boyfriend who does all this exciting stunts on her and apparently gives her the best orgasms.
She also talks about having sex in public places such as the lobby gents of some five star hotel and a dark, seedy karaoke booth. Her favourite position is the Helicopter and the Scissors. She hates condoms; the friction of the rubber lessens the sexual elevation. Hence sometimes, more often than not, she doesn’t use it.
You see what worries me, sir, Linda, is only fifteen.
I can’t even begin to imagine what other kids her age are doing with their boyfriends and talking about during recess.
I do hope that this, should tell you it is time for sex education to be introduced at all levels of education in Malaysia. And I know according to reports, the government has Okayed this idea. But please don’t tell me that the curriculum will be based on that ugly blue book your ministry massively sent out for the NGOs to preview not too long ago.
While working for a women’s organization back then, I remember being excited to be previewing the book and then I vividly recall the disappointment that it was full with topics on morality and tied with different religious beliefs connotations within it.
Sir, one issue has no relation to the other.
Sex education is about teaching them the fundamentals of sex with a clear, positive and broad-minded objectiveness and then trusting that they will be having it responsibly, with the knowledge given to them.
People have sex. Not talking about sex, or lacing it with moral judgments is not going to scare people into not having sex.
Talk to them in an open, concise, healthy environment. Use scientific terms. Words like “penis”, “zakar”, “kemaluan”, “vagina” and “masturbation” should be addressed in a point-driven tone regardless of the hushed silence and sporadic giggles.
Expressions such as “pisang”, “batang”, “cipap”, “benda itu”, “benda kat bawah tu”, “down there” are confusing. They do not necessarily refer to my private parts. My legs and feet are also down there.
They need to be acquainted with condoms, what it is made of; that there are so many types out there, the trusted brands, how to insert it properly and why this is important.
They need to be equipped with info about the Pill, what is it for, who should take it, who to consult, and what are the correct administrations.
They need to be familiar with all the STDs, the causes, the risks, the things they can do to avoid and what to do if they should contract – with pictorial aid.
That when herpes enters the body, it is forever. That syphilis is a sore on the genitalia, curable with antibiotics if detected early. That gonorrhea is real, not a type of bread, and if left untreated, may cause infertility. That HIV is a type of virus, and not an actual disease contracted via sneezing or sharing of utensils. That AIDS stands for Acquired Immuned Deficiency Syndrome and that it develops as a result of being HIV-positive.
They also need to know that when they go to bed, they are not going to bed with a single person. They are sleeping with that person’s sexual history and all of the sexual history’s sexual history as well.
In 2006, 20 people were reported of being infected with HIV everyday, and out of that 20, 13 are housewives. So it is not what category of people they fall under. It is about the sexual habits that they practice, like using condoms, and having annual health checkups.
The children, our future sir, the next generation, they need to know all this. They need to know that STDs happen to good people too, not only to sex workers and the morally corrupt.
Thank you for taking the time from visiting schools, kissing the keris and motivating the UMNO youth, to read my letter sir. I really appreciate it. And I believe that you will do the right thing. Maybe.
*names have been changed to protect privacy.
